June 28-29

Love, the only reason why I feel so happy and sad at the same time.

It makes me a poet once again. It is constantly pushing me to the limits.

It drives me crazy.

I think about many things, words, and memories, yet deep inside my heart, I feel so empty.

Why? It is because the person I love can never love me back.

She has a lot of fears and doubts. She is so afraid of letting me in also into her heart.

She is afraid that she might look for my care, and worst, my love when I cannot give anymore.

It is so much an irony that the person you love the most will hurt you the most.

The person that makes your day and makes you happy is the same person that makes you feel so empty.

I want to cry. I want to burst out all my feelings, my emotions, and my lamentations.

I mourn for my empty heart, and I must endure this in exchange for her love.

Yes, I am suffering, and yet I am also enjoying it.

If the price for this pain is love, then I will endure it.

If the price of this emptiness is love, then I will pour out everything.

If the price of these longings is love, then I will continue loving in silence.

If the price of this brokenness is love, then I will remain hopeful.

You might not talk to me; your words already remain in my ears,

I might not see you every time. I have all night to see you in my dreams,

You might not love me back; it is okay; I am used to it.

Because from the start, I never expected anything.

You might stop communicating with me,

You might stop looking at/for me,

You might push me away,

Over and over again.

I already accepted them from the beginning,

I always forget everything:

All the pain and bad memories,

To replace them with only one thing:

Love yet, why do I have to suffer from all this pain?

It is because this is the reality of this feeling.

You can never realize what true love is without pain.

You can never give everything without sacrificing.

You can never ask the other to do the same.

Stay even; she pushed you away.

Stay even you are not loved.

Stay even you can no longer bear.

Because no matter what you do,

Whether you give up or fight,

Nothing will be lost

Learn to empty yourself from the start.

Never expect, never demand.

Because love is not about receiving,

It is always about giving, losing, and sharing.

It is always about emptying.

There is no nobler from loving without expecting,

There is no holier from loving and sacrificing.

There is no greater love than emptying one’s heart,

To love someone who cannot love you back.

In the end, I said, “I already endured everything.

It is always your decision I followed.

You can always push me and pull me back.

I will stay no matter what.”

I cannot stop loving you.

So please do not stop me.

Because if you do it, I might lose my essence.

Love is only my purpose.

Even though both of us were not anymore free,

You asked me for the first time to stay,

After many times, you told me to stop.

In order not to suffer the consequences.

Can I also ask one thing?

Help me to endure this pain,

For us to stay,

And fill my heart again and again.

This is an original composition and based on my own experiences. If you want to copy something or use some parts of the note, please ask @ reyesjosephalbert@gmail.com.

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